I have decided to post again today because I just don't have the motivation to do much while E is taking a nap. It is really strange because this has been happening a lot over the last year or so and it is so not like me to have zero motivation. I have also found that while I may laugh a bunch I don't know if it is ever because I am truly happy or if I laugh because I have to. I also have been feeling very blah and often get a bit snippy pretty quickly. Now I don't know what depression feels like or if I have it, but the thought scares the hell out of me. I don't feel that I really have anything to be depressed about, nor do I think that any of the normal everyday problems that we (K and I) have on the day to day are enough to make me depressed. I love K and little E with all my heart, I love my family (both K's and My own) very much, I truly do love my job, and overall I don't think my life is bad. On the other hand something has to be making me feel like this and act the way I do and I am just tired of going through life the way I am right now. So next week I will be going to talk to my doc about these concerns and see what he has to say.
I am not sure why I am posting about this or why I think that anyone who reads this would care, but I am posting it anyways. If I actually think about what has been going on I guess the only reason I am telling all of you this is that, for those who know me, I want you to know what I have been feeling and this is the reason for why I have been the way I have been recently.
For those who read this and don't know me I guess this is your first look at a different side of me. I am mostly an up beat type of person and I have been feeling out of sorts lately.
So that is that. I think it is weird that I can post this type of thing on the blog with no problems but it was hard as hell to talk to my wife about it. I guess I just didn't want her to think less of me.
Well time to lighten up this post with a couple pics.
In case you are wondering, yes that is E dancing yesterday morning with 2 tampons.............because they are fun. Boy will she be surprised how much "fun" they are when she gets older!! To young for those right now E.
Greg
6 comments:
Sometimes we are the most unhappy during what should be the happiest times in our lives, without explanation. My father is a manic depressive person. He had a bad childhood, which explains where it stemmed from, but that part was over and it seemed that he would be happy since he had two great kids and a wife who loved him, but he wasn't (isn't, whatever). He's finally getting help. So, his is a lot more extreme than what you're talking about, but I'm glad you're seeing a doc now. I hated seeing my dad like that when I was growing up; kids are very perceptive,and I always knew what was going on...and it made me very, very sad. Luckily, with what you're doing now, E won't have to deal with that.
I often feel the same way. A friend once told me, "you are the happiest sad person I have ever met." Its hard talking to loved ones about these sort of things. I am definitely more open about my feelings on my blog, than I am in real life.
But on a positive note, baby E is beautiful. How old is she? Porgie is 14 months old.
For those of you who do not know us, our little E is going to be 16 months on September 16.
Greg
actually the 13th
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey.....
Hey man.....we have been through a lot together in the 7 or 8 years we have known each other (starting to feel old over here). I hope that if you need anything man, you can call me and we can chit chat.
I know exactly what you mean and what you are feeling...I have been there...you just feel off....
Bro, take care of yourself...you have a great family and great extended family....and one bud up here in Western BFE.
Call me if you need to chat or talk or anything...
Hunna
PS...Call me anyways and we can chat about golf
Ha! That is FuNnY! thanks for the chuckle! LOL
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