Thursday, November 29, 2007

One more for good measure

Ok so I found this one and could not resist. RIP bowling ball!!


This is cool.

This is a little bit more cool. What a bad ass!!

And this would be the coolest thing ever. Any girl who is willing to shoot the Barrett's .50 cal sniper rifle is kick ass in my book!!

Nothing like a little weaponry to get your day going!


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

AND here we go!

So last night was my last time on nights for the next 3 months. YEEEE HAAAAA! Its not that I am happy about this or anything. I thought I would post some pics of my place of employment and show everybody what a "scary" place jail is. So here they are.

That is our intake. It has a TV, yes I said TV room, for the crooks to get comfortable in whilst they contemplate the reason they are in jail. It also has very small, concrete holding cells that are just nasty. No matter how many times you clean it.

These are our 2 large male housing units. They both hold up to 65 crooks at a time. It has never been that full in the almost 4 years I have been there, but we have been into the mid 50's. Keep in mind that we will probably never see 60+ in a unit because, Per MN DOC rules, if we have more than 60 they need to have 2 deputies to watch the unit. Yes, you are right, if we have 60 or less there is only 1 deputy to control all those guys. I might add that the only tool we have to control the crooks is a 2oz can of pepper spray. No taser, no asp, no clear out grenades, no stun shields, no pepper ball guns, no nothing.

These 4 pics show our special management unit. It is 4 small units that make up one big one. The first pic is the female unit. It holds 17 crazies. That is to many women in a unit as small as this unit is. The second is B unit. It is our Admin Seg. This is for our high profile crooks, or for those who are vulnerable and cannot be in the big units, this unit holds 8. The third pic is our work release and sentence to serve workers, and houses 15. The last pic is our Discipline Seg unit. This is where you go when you are naughty. It holds 8.

And this is our Master Control. Nothing happens in the jail without the person sits in this room doing it. It has recently been reconfigured and looks a bit different than this. Currently there is talk of a flat screen LCD TV going in here to get rid of the 6 different monitors that are currently sitting on the desk. Oh and the room is usually dark. No lights. Lights are bad.

And there you have it. "Scary" jail. Is it what you thought jail would look like? Can KT answer this question because she already knows what the jail looks like? NO YOU CAN'T KT!! This was for the rest of you to see what a modern style jail looks like.

Probably going to post again this evening, but must now wash clothes, the dishes, and clean cat pots. Fun I know. Anybody want to trade chores?


Monday, November 26, 2007

2 nights to go

First I want to say thanks for all your comments and advice with my situation last week! Things turned out ok, although I still have not talked to my sister.

I have been working pretty much 8 straight days in a row now, and to be honest it is not as bad as I thought it would be. By this point I just kind of go, zombie around, and then go home. I have not had an incredibly tough rotation while working these last 8 days so I am not nearly as stressed and over worked as I should be. 2 more nights and then we are back to days!

I have not been around the ol laptop since my little run with the OT and I promise I will catch up with reading posts and getting some comments done on Wednesday.

Christmas is coming soon and I will have to work both days this year. It saddens me that I am missing E's second christmas in a row and hope that it does not have to keep happening. There will come a time that I just will have to refuse to work on this holiday. I say this because I do not want E to look back when she is 8, 10, or 17 and wonder where dad was on the big holidays.

But for now I will work my butt off and not complain, like a bunch of my co-workers are doing, and savor the time I do get to spend with her and K the day after christmas.

Time to go and hop in the shower and get ready for another exciting night in the ADC.


Saturday, November 24, 2007

Space Case

I go 22 days, posting every damn day. I make a point of it no matter what is going on and how late I may be running. Then comes yesterday. I get up at noon. We put up the tree. We leave for the holiday stroll. We come home, and what happens? I completely space out posting and thusly F up the whole NaBloPoMo thing. DAMN IT!! Oh well, who wants possible prizes anyways? Note the sarcasm.

Things with the family have gotten better. I talked to my mom and she says she knew nothing of the phone call from my sis. So I guess that means that the sister took things a bit more seriously than what she needed to. We are meeting at the local casino for breakfast this AM, and then mom, aunt, and grandma are coming out for a bit afterwards. I still have not spoken with my sister, and don't know when I am going to. I am still afraid that if I talked to her right now, I would blow up and say things that I don't really mean.

So there it is. Have a great weekend all!!


Thursday, November 22, 2007


Overslept. No time to post. Still PO'd. Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

To Old

It is Tuesday and I am still trying to recover from Sunday. I have slept about 10 hours a night for the last 2 days and I am not feeling anywhere near back to normal. E was up at 6 this morning and I got up and got her some food. After K left for work E played and I tried to stay awake. This was not to be though. Until 9:15 when we went to bed, I was consistently falling asleep on the couch while she played. I know this is completely irresponsible, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open. We took a 2 1/2 hour nap and then got up for lunch. I still feel like worn out crap, but definitely better than before.

Tonight starts a long week of OT. Between now and next Tuesday I work everyday except Friday. Once again this year I will miss thanksgiving because of my work schedule. From what I hear the crew I am 0n never gets this day off. Next year however, my crew and the schedule, will have both thanksgiving and christmas off!! That will be nice seeing as I do not have enough seniority to request these days off and actually get them.

I was kindly corrected by S yesterday that he and my SIL got married 2 months after K and I, not 4 months. I think I must have been high or something because he was right (of course, because he knows the date he got married). Thanks S!

Think that is all for now. I am going to go make some food for myself, that my daughter will eat most of because she is a garbage can.


Monday, November 19, 2007

AHHHH.....the lights!

Is it weird that I have become obsessed with chirstmas lights? I used to hate hanging them when I was younger at mom's house. I have always thought it was silly that people spent all this time hanging lights on their house and decorating. Now that I have a house the whole mindset has changed. I hate taking them down in the spring, and if it wasn't so taboo I would leave them up year round to avoid getting on a ladder and taking them down. But I do have to say that this time of year when I can hang the lights and plug them in, I get all excited and want to get them hung. We switched to LED lights this year and I think they are going to be way cooler. They are brighter, and if I take care of them they will last for frickin ever. I will have to take pictures and put them up for you all to envy.......I mean enjoy.

We are also going to put up our christmas tree on Friday after I get up from working the night before. We need to get lights for the tree yet, but we have everything else. Does anyone know how many light sets I am going to need to make a 6' tree look good? This is the first year we have had a full size tree since K and I have been together.

Side note, this is our 4th year together. We met at the end of November in 2003 and moved in together by the middle of January 2004. Then we were married on May 7th, 2005. And E came on May 13th, 2006. We met, got married, and got busy and had E. K's sister and her husband also had a quick courtship and were married 4 months after K and I. My sister and her husband also met and married quick. Is this strange? Common? Unheard of? There must be something in the water that flows through MN and WI that caused all these quick courtships and weddings!

Bowling in a few hours from now, so I think I will go take that nap I talked about at 8am



It is now 0821 and I am up and have already done 2 loads of laundry, washed all the dishes, and hung some more christmas lights that I have been putting off for the last 2 weeks. I think this will be the last of the lights as I do not wish to have a lot to take down in the spring. I will soon be laying back down for a nap.

When we were in the cities yesterday, you would not believe the amount of geese flying around! I grew up in Hayward, WI and love to hunt the ducks and geese. I have to say that geese are definitely my favorite bird to hunt and also the goose call is the only call I can actually blow. I can blow a duck call but usually end up sounding like a dying cow. So I see all these birds flying around and I feel the need to point them all out to K. She could really care less and I am sure was annoyed by the end of the day hearing "geese high and on the right". This is the first year in probably almost 10 years that I have not hunted. I sold my shotgun last summer (in hopes of eventually getting the one I really want) and I have decided to spend the time with E while she is young. I have friends at work that are gone all the time duck and goose hunting when they are not at work. Either that or other co-workers that have husbands that hunt all the time (and they get stuck having to take care of the kids) and they are miserable. I just can't imagine doing that to K, so when E is a little older I will start hunting again and will take her with me. I really look forward to teaching her to love the outdoors/blind time as much as I do. This can then be part of our daddy/daughter time.

Work was uneventful Friday and Saturday this weekend, except for the drunk who came in and kept calling me a spider F**ker. I am not sure why or what a spider F**cker is, but that is what I was. I had last night off which was nice. I will pay for this however with the OT I am working this week. I know I bitch about OT a bunch, but ultimately it will ensure that we have a nice christmas and also it has helped us get out of the HUGE hole we were in financially.

I think that I am now going to go lay down for a bit like my raging headache is telling me to do. Maybe another post later?



So it is now 12:29am and I am wide awake. Ok well not WIDE awake, but awake enough to not be sleeping. I went to bed just before 7 expecting to sleep all the way through the night till E woke up in the AM. I think it is safe to say that I did not sleep all night. I am sure that I will be back asleep in a little bit, but damn.

K and I went to this gift mart today and I have to say that it was pretty cool. We bought many cool items, and many of them will be gifts for christmas. I think that if we have a large sum of money to spend next year, I would go again to buy things for the house for when we remodel. You could seriously take $500 and buy a whole shit pot of stuff that easily be more than a $1ooo in a store. This place was pretty cool and I enjoyed it. I was totally one of the only men at this place, and it was funny to see the other guys walking around. They were obviously there just to wheel the suitcase around and carry the bags for their wives. Some of the sellers even had TV's set out for the guys to watch while the wives were inside spending money. I was so glad to be there to shop WITH my wife and not just the guy who carries stuff.

I do think that I am tired again so I am going to head back upstairs. Post again later.


Sunday, November 18, 2007


Hello! It is now 6:19pm and I have not been to sleep since 1pm yesterday (11/17/07) afternoon. I was up all day to shop with K, and now I am going to bed. Will post tomorrow.


Saturday, November 17, 2007

One more night.

Just have to work tonight and then I have Sunday off. The fact that I am probably going to work intake tonight, it will make the night even better. Last night was ok, just real long.

Not much to say today as I am tired and am up already and it is noon. I should be sleeping for like 3 more hours. That is ok though, because I only have 7 more night shifts after tonight.

Bowling on Monday, and hopefully I won't be puking again. I am pretty excited for it because it is bowling. Must now go eat and maybe go back to bed.


Friday, November 16, 2007

Curse you daylight savings time!!

Not only did I not get to enjoy the extra hour of sleep that comes with daylight savings time in the fall, but we get to suffer long after the day has come and gone. E will not sleep past 5:30am anymore since the change. We try and keep her up a little later in hopes to have her sleep later. This, as you can guess, is not even close to being the answer. She simply laughs in our face the next morning when she is up even earlier. What the hell? So to make up for my frustration, I am going to post some pics of E because I have not done that in a while.

Well enjoy! I am sure this may not be my only post today. It is my first, however, because I was up at 10 after 5.


Thursday, November 15, 2007


For anyone who is family and reads my blog, if you are looking for christmas ideas then look no further. There is one thing that I really want for christmas and that is a new bowling ball. It is going to cost me $215 for the ball and to get it drilled and ready to go. If you want do something that you know I will like, then please donate to the cause. You most certainly can all go together on this so that no one person has to contribute a large sum. These would be the 2 that I would have to choose from. It would be a hard decision, but I am confident that with your support we can make this dream happen!

So there you have it. Thank you, in advance, for your contribution to the cause!!!



Can someone please explain to my daughter that if she wants to sit on her little chair by her little table, then she needs to STAY ON THE F**KIN thing!! Also, could you explain to her that it is not as much fun for mom and dad to CONTINUALLY walk over to said chair to put her back on every 3 seconds.

In other news, we are going to town today around noon so that I can get my flu shot. K called me this morning and told me that it is not actually a shot, but a nose spray that they give you! Yes, I hate shots. E has her 18 month check up today and I have a feeling she will be getting the flu shot as well which equals a evening of hell in our house, as she is always super cranky after she gets a shot.

I talked to a friend yesterday that said he wrote a blog post that was all one sentence. No comma's, no periods, no nothing. He said he did it just to see if he would get any response. He also said it was way funny when he got a bunch of comments about it being all one long sentence. Might be fun to try sometime.

My child is now in her toy basket and cannot get out. She is crying. I must go.


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

And he thought he was a tough guy

About midnight one of the county guys came in with a guy for DWI. The guy had rolled his truck out in a county road and was pinned inside. He was not hurt, but the only way to find him was to have HIM call 911. That is right, he had to call the cops on himself!!

So he comes in and gets patted down. We put him in one of our holding cells, which has a TV and a bathroom in it. A short time after, we hear this loud bang come from the TV room. He must have been in the bathroom and punched the paper towel holder. Then he came out of the bathroom and proceeded to punch the TV. We then went in and removed him and put him in another holding cell. After we moved him, he decided to start punching the windows and then started to ram his head into the walls and door frames of the holding cell. So we had to put him in our restraint chair.

He did not like this. He fought, and we set him straight. At one point another deputy and I gently escorted this guy into a cement wall...........face first.

Well I have had lots of excitement the last couple of days at work and it reminds me why I like my job. Well I suppose I should start dinner and get things cleaned up before K and E come home.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Quick, I tink he pee'd on himself

At 3am this morning I was checking on the sleeping crooks, when I heard someone banging on their cell door. I was like "what the hell" and went over to check it out. When I got to the cell that the noise was coming from, I found a 400lb man on the floor with his wiener out. Yes, I said with his wiener out. This man is a severe diabetic and also has a slew of other health problems. Last week Monday he went to a prison in northern MN, and from what I understand they had not given him any of his meds (except for insulin) for an entire week. He came back to us yesterday for a court hearing today, and at 3am he decided to have a stroke while peeing.

I quickly called a medical emergency and people came a running. The Sgt got there and asked what happened and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "I think he pee'd on himself." Brilliant right? Well the Sgt says "What?" I then proceed to tell him that, according to this guys cell mate, he got up to take a pee and mid stream he fell over and couldn't get up. So the Sgt calls EMS and they come and load him on the ambulance. I ride up to the hospital with them and when we get there another deputy took over watching him. I finally got back to the jail around 4:30am and then spent the next hour writing my report.

The entire last hour and a half I was at work today, I got made fun of for telling the Sgt that the guy pee'd himself instead of what really happened. Just before we left, we found out the guy did have a stroke and that he would be staying in the hospital for at least 48 hrs.


P.S. The guy did pee himself, so my info to the Sgt was not all that inaccurate!! Poor EMT's who had to touch him.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Damn leaves.....Damn work

I was up this morning at 6:30 and went outside to start raking and sucking up leaves. I did this until 9am. It was no fun, except for when E would bang on the window and laugh at me. I was out there for 2 1/2 hours and only got about half the yard done. The FIL's leaf vac has a bag that attaches to it and it would filled up so fast that I could only go about 2 minutes at a time before the bag was full and needed to be emptied. LOADS of fun. I figure I will get up around noon on Wednesday and finish the rest of the yard while E is at daycare. Oh, and it was a gas vac that I was using. Gas vac = stinky all over when I was done.

Then there is work. I have to go. And miss bowling. Because they told me that we have no coverage until 9pm when I would normally come in on a Monday when I have to work. That is ok though, I guess, and there is only 1 more night that I will not be able to bowl before I go to days.

Must now get showered and start getting ready to go. I have to meet a guy from bowling to give him my check for tonight, and then make a stop at the Kwik Trip for some Dt. Pepsi.

Have a great night.


Sunday, November 11, 2007



Saturday, November 10, 2007

Saturday, whiny Saturday

The child is whiny, the wife is dizzy and whiny, the cats are whiny (I really don't know about this one), and I have had about enough. I am trying to be sympathetic, but there is just so much annoying 18 month old whine that one can handle. I mean really. E is whiny when she wakes up from a night of sleep, she is whiny during everything she does while awake, she is whiny after she takes a 2 hour nap, then she is whiny ALL the time while she is awake. AAARRRGGGGGGGGG. Insert the kick in the balls I would rather be getting right now, here.

K wants a BK-Jr Whopper, which I have to drive to go get, with whiny E, so that she can be in the house by herself. I have no problem going to get the damn sandwich. I do have a problem with going crazy because of these two sicko women in my house.

K is going to be pissed when she reads this post.

I don't know that I care.

I do care, but she is so tired and food deprived that she would take this as an attack on her, which I am not trying to do. She needs sleep and food. These things = non-emotional wife.

Someone kill me now.


Friday, November 9, 2007

AHHH......Its nice to see you... FALL!

And no I do not mean fall as in fall, I mean fall as in the season fall. With that out of the way.

I stayed home last night after K's ordeal during the day. I decided that I should not let her stay home to take care of an 18 month old by herself, when the doc had told her to take it easy and rest. So I called in to work and talked to the Sgt that is always an ass when people call in. Last night he actually wasn't bad. Wahoo for me.

Today E went to daycare (because we already paid for it) so that K could again rest up to feel better. I got many things done outside. Then I went to pick up E around 4pm from daycare. She was a little grumpy when I got there, but they said she was great all day. All day, that is, until we got home. She has been a raging crab ass for the last half an hour. This is not the type of night we were hoping to spend with our little girl. Maybe some dinner will make things better.

Tomorrow if it is nice out, we will go outside and play a bunch. E loves being outside, and even learned how to say "outside" last time Grandma M was here.

I hear unhappy child noises, so I must now go help feed the monster.


Thursday, November 8, 2007

Still sick....but not me.

I woke up this morning at 9:30am to some A**hole banging the front door. And the phone was ringing as well. I was mildly confused and a little upset, to be honest, that someone was pretty much kicking down my door. I thought it was the cops maybe trying to get in for some reason.

It was not.

It was my wonderful wife, who had come home from work because she almost passed out at work. She came in the front door, and proceeded to start crying saying something about not having a blood pressure when she went to the doctor. WHA?!?!?!?!? The doctor? I was not understanding and tried to ask questions, but was not understanding the answers. K told me to go to bed and she would explain when I got up.

I get up at 1:30 and K tells me that she almost passed out at work and then decided to go see a doc. She was told she has ROTO virus, which is a type of flu that is going around, and she is not to be drinking 7up or gatorade like she has been. She was told to stay home and eat nothing but toast, rice, applesauce, bananas, and water. Also she was told that it could last from 7 days to 2 weeks. Although, she should be able to go back to work next week.

Well isn't this something. Looks like it is going to be a long, boring weekend at home, taking care of E.


Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Thank God for not puking.....out either end!

Today is a whole different day! I woke up with a monster headache, but after some Advil I am doing just great. No more weird stomach, no more puking out of my butt, no more anything bad. I am just a little tired now, but then again what is new.

I feel so much better in fact, that I have done the dishes, started laundry, and cleaned the germ infested bathroom! Oh and I have had 2 Dt. Pepsi's today and some toast.

The sick was in and out so fast that I now feel like a used up hooker.

Even K feels better today.


Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Sick as a dog

This is just ridiculous. I went to work yesterday from 12-6 and things went well. At 6 I went downstairs to change and was feeling a little weird. I go to the in laws, and proceed to feel even more weird. I go to bowling, where I bowl a 195 the first game, because I have the oil pattern figured out. 4 strikes into the second game I am feeling so shitty that I cannot even hold onto the ball when it is my turn to go. I decide to go home because I feel like hell. I get a half mile from the house and I have to stop. I projectile vomit 6 times. I then drive home and go to 8pm.

For the rest of the night I was up every 1 1/2 -2 hours either puking or peeing out of my butt. I realize that this is WAY to much info for all of you but damn. At 6:30 this morning E woke up, and K was already in the bathroom. She had called in sick last night so that she could take care of E while I was sick today. This did not happen.

K has now been puking and pooping all day. Both K and I feel like ass and she is mega dizzy to go along with being sick. So, while I feel like shit today, I have had to be the one to take care of E. Changing all the diapers, doing all the meals, and everything else that goes along with an 18 month old. This sucks.

I am feeling better now after a day of sleeping (on the floor because K wanted the couch) and so I decided to post......and do dishes. I have not eaten anything since noon yesterday, and I think I must go fix something.


Monday, November 5, 2007

Monday here I come

My plan to call in sick ended up TOTALLY WORKING last night. I got to stay home with E and the lovely K and spend some time with my fam. We watched some TV, played, and then K and E went to bed around 8. They were both exhausted.

I did not go to bed, of course, until about 1am. This was not horrible though, as I got to catch up on some shows on the ol DVR. E was up at 6 this morning, so I got up, brought her downstairs, changed her diaper, put her in the clothes she was going to wear to daycare, and helped K get things ready. At 7 they pulled out of the garage, and I was the one who was a bit teary eyed about E going to her first real daycare. Then K called at 7:38 and said that she to cried at the daycare. Better her to do it there instead of me.

I have since cleaned up the kitchen, caught up on other blogs that I read, and now I am going outside to do some yard work. I might even hang some christmas lights. NO we are not going to turn them on yet!

Bowling tonight. Should be fun. Just re-wound the "our song" video for the third time. Man I like that song. It plays as the ringtone for when K calls on the ol cell. I am a cheesy sap, I know.


Sunday, November 4, 2007


Went to work last night.

Called home at 9pm.

E was puking.

Puked until well into the morning hours.

Got home and she was no longer puking.

Don't know what was going on.

Trying to call in sick to work today.

Don't feel like going.


Must bath the puke chunks we keep finding on


Saturday, November 3, 2007


Whew! Up in just enough time to eat and do a quick post.

I went to work last night.

Nothing happened.

I came home and slept.

I have not seen E yet today:(

I must now shower.


Friday, November 2, 2007

And she is better

The red almost gone!! We use this product call Aqua.for when E gets the diaper rash, and man did we slather her butt with it!! Just a little red around the bottom of her butt now. This stuff works fast.

Not much else going on today. We took a nap from 9-11, which was nice. Thanks E for letting daddy sleep so long!

Time for lunch and then off to meet K so we can go visit the daycare again today.

Have a great night all.


Thursday, November 1, 2007

E the Red Assed Riendeer......

.....Had a very red, shiny ass. So we get to Wal.mart tonight and E is ridiculously grumpy. I am talking screaming, crying, and throwing a total temper tantrum. I figure part of it is because she has not been herself lately (which I am thinking is maybe a growth spurt) and she has been getting a regular routine of tyle.nol to help her feel better. I decide to run to the car to get the miracle medicine and while I am out there I say to myself, I say "self, maybe you should grab a diaper and some wipes. Maybe she needs a clean butt." Ok so I grab the wipes, diaper, and the grape wonder drug and return to the store. I can tell right where E and K are because she is the only screaming, crying 18 month old in the whole damn store.

I find the 2 ladies and give E her medicine, hoping that it would help. It did not. So I decided to take her to the bathroom and change her because she felt a little wet. We get to the bathroom and the butt of her jeans are wet. Hmmm, weird I say to myself. I take off the pants and there I see a gross yellow/brown combo color all over the bottom of the diaper. Well this is not going to be good, I am thinking. I take off the diaper and what do I see? A gross, flattened poop/pee filled diaper. Oh and a blazing red ASS! Poor girl, I felt so bad for her and felt like a shitty parent to not notice that she had pooped. We ate at McD's and K smelled her butt before we went to visit E's new daycare and had not smelled the poo, however the poo had obviously been there a while because it was as flat as a pancake. To top it off a man walked in and looked at E, who was screaming again, and then must have spotted the fire engine red butt she had, because he gave me the dirtiest look I have received in a long time. I was mad as hell that he looked at me like that, and wanted to tell him to F**k Off and mind his own business, but really I was just plain embarrassed that I let my kids ass get to looking like this.

We had no butt cream with us so I had to just put a clean, dry diaper back on E and hope for the best. This did not work. She was miserable, so I took her home and let K do the shopping. E was sound asleep before we got out of the parking lot. This was not the end of the drama however, as we had to repeat the wiping of the ass and apply cream to help it heal when we got home. After about 30 minutes of rocking upstairs in her room she finally gave me a hug and fell asleep on my shoulder. I must say that I kind of like when she is not feeling well because that is the only time she cuddles with me, and it makes me smile when I get that time with her.

It is now quiet in our house with only the sound of the dryer going. It was a long day, filled with drama and one tired, sore assed little girl. Hope tomorrow is better for my awesome little E!